Looking Back and Looking Forward
2016 was for many of us a strange and frustrating year but I want to put aside social and political agendas today and focus on what the year meant to me on a more personal level. I enjoy the retrospective nature of January and if you like to read slightly more intimate posts this one's for you.
It's one of my goals to gently push my blog down a more personal path this year. In the past I have sometimes shared more private aspects of my life and I'd like to write more about me and my thoughts in 2017. This online space of mine is a very important outlet and although I enjoy writing about interesting products, fashion, interiors and food very much I'd also like to inject some more of "me"into my blog.
This year I'll try to write more about what I'm up to week by week and share any new experiences, thoughts or ideas I may have. Hopefully you'll find it interesting or helpful. Personally, I'm really looking forward to writing for me a little more.
Writing. 2016 saw me take a huge interest in creative writing, a totally new hobby for me. I noticed myself having my usual thoughts but feeling the urge to write them down. Only a handful of people have read my writing but I'm becoming more open to the idea of sharing my poems and short stories. This new skill I've discovered is quite unexpected as I really hated writing in school, yet now I'm actually considering a course in creative writing. I will shortly be setting up another blog where I will solely post my poetry and stories.
Doing what I want. I'm getting much better at looking after myself more. However, I'm still catching myself sacrificing my happiness for others too much. Recently my anxiety went through the roof because I didn't want to annoy a friend which lead to three days of insomnia. I've been seeing a therapist for just less than a year and it's helped me immensely. In the past I would regularly sacrifice my own comfort for others or let people make me feel incredibly guilty. I've slowly decreased these negative situations but from time to time I still put myself last to the point of total panic. I'm going to try very hard this year put myself first more and be a little more selfish.
Deep friendships. I have a group of female friends and we all take on the duty of looking after each other as much as we can. It's a sisterhood and it's a magical thing. One holiday this year stands out to me, a trip to Fife in Scotland where over a few days I laughed, played, thought and cried with the dearest women I know. We all offer something completely different to the group and we are fine with our imperfections when we're together. We've captured the balance of love and honesty and I respect us all immensely.
I don't always have to defend my actions aka sometimes I'm wrong. Probably due to how I was raised and my place in my family when I was little I have a strong feeling that I should be heard and that I am important. I was always the "baby" or the sweet quiet one. My opinionated manner is mostly a good trait and one that I am very happy to have, but I need to remember to employ gentleness too. All too often I am overly sassy, coarse and opinionated with matters closest to my heart. I care so much about feminism, rationality and kindness that sometimes I bark at those I care the most about. I'm sure this will continue into 2017 (it's very hard to change overnight) but I will apologise and try to catch myself before I say anything too harsh.
Showing love and trust. I have so enjoyed showing a select few people more affection than ever before. I have been, and will continue to be kind, gentle and loving to the people I care most about. I hope that these actions will spread to people who I don't particularly get along with and in turn form better and happier friendships. Last year I met quite a few people I didn't like and sometimes I have to talk or spend time with them. In the past I would have fixated on their negative traits and tried to understand exactly why they are the way they are. Instead I'm now trying to let that serious stuff go and simply enjoy other aspects of their personality and respect them for who they are. You can't like everyone and it's stupid trying to change the ones who don't like you back.
Volunteering my time. I have some spare time and skills that I'd like to offer to others who need it. I'm going to volunteer for a woman's health charity this year in order to meet new people and try to help those who are in need. I care very deeply about equally in general but and as I'm a woman I have a hell of a lot of time for feminist issues specifically. I'm interested in counselling and supporting people who feel as though they don't have a voice and I hope to find a charity that would be able to use my writing skills too. I work as a freelance copywriter and I would love to use my experience on campaigns to help raise awareness of the issues I care most about.
I hope you enjoyed this more personal post. What goals have you set yourself this year? Are there any personal moments that you are particularly proud of from 2016?